Warning – Consumption of alcohol.

Consumption of alcohol:

  • May make you think you are wispering when you are not.
  • Is a major factor in dancing like a wanker.
  • May cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.
  • May lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
  • May leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers.
  • May make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
  • May Make you think you posses mystical kung-fu powers.
  • May cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species, and/or name you can’t remember.)
  • Is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on your forehead.
  • May lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home.
  • May lead you to believe you are invisible.
  • May lead you to believe that people are laughing with you.
  • May cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

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