Warning
Consumption of alcohol:

• May make you think you are wispering when you are not.
• Is a major factor in dancing like a wanker.
• May cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.
• May lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
• May leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers.
• May make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
• May Make you think you posses mystical kung-fu powers.
• May cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species, and/or name you can’t remember.)
• Is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on your forehead.
• May lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home.
• May lead you to believe you are invisible.
• May lead you to believe that people are laughing with you.
• May cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

Found on a menu